


In an Instant

by CoraxVox



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: Angst, Death of Shane's Brother, Death of Shane's Sister in Law, Excessive Drinking, Fuck the Church, Minor Character Death, Suicidal Thoughts
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-03
Updated: 2020-06-03
Packaged: 2021-03-04 06:40:38
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,697
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24519349
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoraxVox/pseuds/CoraxVox
Summary: My second installment for the "Banned Together Bingo"!  My tag is Fuck the Church.Set before the Farmer appears in Stardew, Shane recently got the news that his brother, Jason, and his wife, Jaime, were killed in an auto accident.This is the beginning of his drinking problem, and the moment he lost his faith.It was a hard write, and may be a hard read.  Lots of pain.  Lots of Loss.
Kudos: 14





	In an Instant

The beer was sour, but Shane bared his teeth and poured it down his throat. He was dehydrated from the tears that had made his eyes ache and burn. 

This wasn't how his life was supposed to go. He thought, his head spinning, that his life should have been full of things like, finding a good woman who wants to have his children.

Sadly, that had been Jason's lot in life. His brother had always been a little more blessed, his wife was amazing, and their daughter was brilliant, and really just, gifted. The whole family was a goal, to be honest.

Shane, however, was not. He still had the same job he had when he was a teenager, and now, nearly thirty, and never having been in a relationship, he was figuring that he was just going to die a bachelor. 

A phone call, a single fucking phone call, had changed all of that.

Jason, Jamie, and Jasmine, the J's, the wonderful little family that Shane had felt guilty that he hated visiting, jealous of their life, was no more.

He hunched over the bar, burying his whole head in his hands, and he let out another sob. A phone call. They'd told him that his brother, Jason, and his sister in law, Jaime had died in a car wreck somewhere in the salt marshes of the Jewel Sea. 

The pain of having the man he'd looked up to, his older brother, Jay, torn from him without even getting a chance to say good bye made his soul ache in a way that he'd never felt before. An emptiness, a disbelief. He couldn't believe what he'd heard when he'd hung up the phone and just, fallen to his knees. Marnie had had to pull his bulk up off of the floor and get him in a chair before he was able to almost say the words.

"Jay's gone."

He wasn't much of a drinker, sure, a night out with the staff from Joja every so often, but tonight, tonight he wanted to not feel anything. He wanted the ache, the loneliness the, hollow feeling to be filled with something, and oblivion of booze sounded better than anything else he could think of at the moment.

Shane felt a hand on his shoulder and looked muzzily up to see Gus, his outline blurred with tears and drink, his warm expression concerned, as he gave Shane a manly squeeze on the shoulder, his head down as well. "We loved them too, Shane. We're with you."

Shane wiped at his face, smearing snot on the sleeve of his Joja hoodie. "You ever lost someone like this, Gus?" he managed to breathe, pretty sure the scent of his breath could now peel paint.

"Yeah," the bartender said softly. "Yeah, but you know what helped me?" he asked. Shane shook his head, motioning for Gus to bring him another. He felt sick to his stomach, as if the alcohol was beginning to curdle. "I remembered, everything happens for a reason. I just...had to have faith in Yoba."

Something inside Shane broke then, the thin branch that had been holding up the despair the young man had been feeling snapped, and it spilled white hot rage over every part of Shane's being.

That very moment, he would remember in the future, was when he became an athiest.

He snarled, standing suddenly, knocking the chair back to land with a clatter. "What the fuck does that mean, Gus?" He roared, bringing his fists up, ready to fight.

The barkeep's eyes went wide. "I was just saying..."

"You were just saying..." Shane panted. "You were just saying that Jason DESERVED this? That ... that this is somehow, some sort of ... That this happened for a REASON?" He shouted. "What kind of fucking god would do that? Fuck your church, Gus! I'm serious, fuck Yoba, fuck the Vessel, Fuck every part of it!"

Gus' expression was pained, he'd meant the words to help, but he saw how they could have been sharper than a blade, slipping into the other man's heart while it was particularly exposed. "I'm sorry, Shane. I didn't mean it that way."

Shane ground his teeth more, trying to keep on top of the fury, the hate and anger felt so much better than the sharp pain of loss. "No," Shane slurred a little. "What did you mean?" 

Gus looked at him, gently picking up a rag, wiping his hands off, before he came around the bar, and moved to the shattered man. Gus stood before him, watching this man who he'd practically watched grow up in this town, crumble. 

Shane sniffled, the fury slowly being eaten away by grief. His expression turned from anger to pain, fresh tears welling up in his sore, red eyes, spilling over his cheeks. "Why," he breathed, before he "Why, Gus? Why him?" He asked, his voice soft, pleading. "He had J-Jamie. Jas..." He hiccuped, and Gus moved forward, reaching out for him, carefully collecting the pieces of him, and holding them together. Hugging him softly. "I'm sorry, Shane. I really am."

Shane felt Gus' hand pet his hair down, and he reached up, gripping Gus' shirt, clinging to him, burying his face in his chest. Once again, he began sobbing. Horrible, wracking painful sobs. Gus just held him, his hand on the back of the dark head. Alone in the Stardrop, he keeled on the floor and let Shane cry.

"It shoulda been me, Gus. It shoulda been me..." he said between sobs, as his aching lungs. Gus closed his eyes, bowing his head a little, letting Shane lance the wound, get the infection out. "I'm nobody, Jay... Jay deserved..."

Gus held him, he rubbed his hack and petted his head, comforting him the same way he would have comforted his own son.

Shane sobbed for some time, before, exhausted, he finally managed to get himself together again. He wiped his face. "I'm sorry Gus," he said, his voice soft. "I..." He shook his head, sick and dizzy, drunk as hell, his rage and grief wringing him out like a laundry machine.

"It's okay, but I think we should get you over to Harvey. Do you think you can drink a little water?"

Shane nodded a few times, and Gus gently withdrew, going to get him some water. "Is it okay if I make a phone call? I'll be right back, I'm gonna ask Harvey to come over, okay?" He asked as he returned, putting the water in Shane's hand. Shane didn't have the strength to lift it, instead, resting it on the floor, his hand loosely wrapped around it.

Shane nodded a few more times, his chin resting on his chest. He was too broken now. Too broken. Like a puppet who's strings had been cut.

Gus frowned, before he went to the phone, taking the handset to make sure he was out of Shane's earshot, ringing Harvey. "Do you think you could come here? Shane's in really bad shape, I'm afraid to send him off on his own. I don' think-" He was silent a moment. "Yeah, you heard about Jason? Yeah, small towns." Gus swallowed. "Yeah, I think...he might try something. Could you just... come here? Maybe get him an IV of water or something, he's going to be really hung over. Thanks, Harv, you're a good one."

He hung up and returned to Shane, who was still sitting, hand draped around the glass of water. 

Gus sat with him for the time it took for Harvey to get there. The doctor made eye contact with Gus and looked at Shane, before he frowned a little, and put his hands on Shane's shoulders. "Hey, Shane, it's Dr. Harvey."

"Fuck off," Shane growled. 

"Listen, I'm going to ask that you come with me, okay? We'll get you a nice place to sleep, and see if we can't make it so you're not so hung over in the morning."

Shane looked to Harvey, his green eyes dark and unfocused. "Sure," he agreed, not having the spirit to argue with anything.

Harvey smiled and patted his shoulder, before he pulled the spare wheelchair he'd borrowed from George. He and Gus helped the inebriated man into it, and then out the delivery bay, as it had a ramp. 

"Take care of him," Gus said quietly. Harvey nodded quietly. He'd already put on a pot of coffee, and given Maru the heads up that he may need her to run the office tomorrow. 

"I'm Jas' Godfather," Shane mumbled into his chest. 

"I know, I delivered her. I was there." 

Shane breathed a laugh. "I never shoulda said yes to that, thought it was...ceremonial."

"Most of the time it is, Shane," Harvey said.

"I ain't ... " Shane shook his dark head, frowning. "I ain't good for a kid, Doc."

"We've gotta see what we can do for that, right? See if we can't all pitch in. It takes a village, right?" 

"I suppose." Shane sounded trepidatious. 

Harvey smiled, turning him around so he could pull him up the step and into the office. Shane made a little 'urp' sound and covered his mouth, making the doctor pause, wanting him to vomit outside if he was going to do so. 

When he was satisfied he wasn't going to vomit, he pulled him into the ward, and gently helped him into the bed. He pulled his shoes off, chatting softly about how work was going, keeping up a one sided dialogue meant to soothe. Shane rolled over onto his side, and Harvey gently clipped a O2 monitor to his finger. He knew Shane was just very drunk, but, why not actually get some use out of his equipment?

He then turned the lights out, and then turned on a little reading light, pulling open a magazine. He'd watch Shane over the night, make sure he woke up tomorrow. Maybe see if he could talk him into getting therepy. He knew someone a town or two over who may be able to help Shane with his grief.

That was tomorrow Harvey's problem. Tonight, he'd just make sure Shane was okay. 


End file.
